Temple President & Matron
We went on splits this week with real life missionaries and had our first experience in the field. I have become too comfortable at the CCM the past few weeks and the experience in the field was a reminder of how I need to continue to push and how I have much to learn. "There is no comfort in the growth zone and no growth in the comfort zone." The hermana I went with is from Costa Rica but moved to Nevada at a young age; she's fluent in Spanish and English. I was intimidated at first but she was very kind and an amazing missionary. When she asked me to begin one of the lessons I froze and I have no recollection of what I even said; words were just coming out. I am sure I didn’t make any sense. A couple of hermanas in the field expressed that they had been concerned with all these young girls coming out but they said they know we can handle it.
My big challenge right now is not letting my fear be greater than my faith. When I focus on what’s ahead and how unprepared I feel regarding the language, it can be a little daunting. But focusing on the unknown is hindering. On Sunday, we watched an MTC devotional given by Elder Holland in January. He said the following, "We know you're young. We know it’s hard. We are not going to apologize for that. Even at your tender ages - grow up overnight if you have to - but we expect you to be bold, powerful teachers. The Lord has always trusted young people." His whole talk had a 'rallying the troops' feel. It was great.
I leave the safety of the CCM walls in five days. I wish I could say I've mastered Spanish but that is still a work in progress. I am going to miss the people I have met here. My teachers are incredible people. You get to know everyone really well because it is so small. I’m even going to miss the CCM chef who tries to get me to eat meat every day. I am going to miss my companion - who has a beautiful voice; I make her sing for me every night. But it’s time to move on. Let the adventure begin!
"What is the source of fear? I think it is rooted in the assumption that I must solve all my problems and face my challenges alone, using my own resources. That is frightening, because deep in my heart I know how limited those resources are. So when I am fearful, I am hopeless. And without hope, I find myself paralyzed. Knowing that I am not capable of changing myself or my circumstances for the better, I stand frozen in fear." - Gregory Clark
I know I am not doing it alone. I have never felt closer to the Lord. I am so grateful to be here and so grateful for this gospel. We have so many reasons to be faithful and so much to hope in.
Are We Done Studying Yet?